i sold my soul, it was an 'other duty as assigned'

i got videotaped at the liberry yesterday. our head of marketing wants our funky 70's-built branch to get on some mainstream home makeover show, and guess who got pegged to be spokesmodel.

how much my contribution to this project counts: i wrote a script which she said she was editing, since it called for a cast of thousands and wouldn't work with a sole person in front of the lens. this turned into "oh, you can wing it."

ugh. especially post-katrina, my feeling is that our branch may contain some fug but it's at least operational. we don't need this nearly as much as other libraries. we are also in a fast-growing county; we're soon trying to put construction of two new branches up to bond. in other parts of the country, hours and services and entire branches are shutting down. this is selfish to ask for, and it's also unnerving to allow - let alone ask - corporate america to take control of our building.

like most people, i don't enjoy seeing myself on video, so i'll have the additional horror of being present for some kind of 'screening party' when the tape is edited. (do i really have to return from portland??)

why did i do it: oh, i'm such a team player, yaa hoo. truth be told, i eventually want a higher position within the system. however, i would also like to be taken seriously at some point in my life. (yeah yeah i know, stop dyeing my hair two colors...) so i'll have to find out the answer to the quandary: would i look more like a fool in front of a camera, or running away shrieking from it as my instincts would have dictated?