gum update

there is a cartoon of a guy throwing a spear inside the gum package. i kid you not.

subtle, eh?

okay, so sometimes i like to chew gum. inner 12-year-old, freudian whatevers, yadda yadda. usually i like orbit's citrusmint, since it's got a nice slim package and tastes kinda like orange tictacs. but i saw this new brand at the grocery today and decided to give it a try.

haven't busted it open yet, but the package... um... well, looks like condoms. two people confirmed this right off the bat without prompting. and while searching for an image of the package, i found this lovely ad that's apparently in print. what is this, manly gum? will the next ad be about safe pleasurable oral gratification?

not getting into it

after about 2 months of waiting, christopher moore's 'a dirty job' finally came off my request list and into my library bag. (yes, i am geeky enough to have a bag reserved for library items. it has pictures of dick and jane all over it.)

i'm over 150 pages into it, but i'm not sure i'm *into* it. i like the humor in it, but that's all that is keeping my interest. the plot isn't grabbing me. this is my first moore book, and i've read reviews of this and other titles that made it seem like he'd be a more satisfying read than this. instead, it's reading kinda like a gimmick, like (dodges tomato-projectiles) a lemony snicket for grownups.

i have a 30-page rule, in which i give a book thirty pages to warrant interest in reading more. this is certainly past this point, and i'm over a third through it now. i also know that if i change my mind and decide i do want to finish it, but it goes back to the library in the meanwhile, it's a long time before i'll be able to check it out again. that's about the only compelling reason to continue at this point. no, there is no rule that says if i read more than 30 pages, i must finish the book.

one of the blurbs on the book jacket compares moore to tom robbins. i've been through all the tom robbins books, up until last year's 'wild ducks flying backwards'. maybe i just don't need any moore... erm, more.

SPLAT!

i just ended the 'reference test' part of a two-stage interview by not noticing that my foot had fallen asleep, getting out of my chair, and falling down in front of the recruitment manager.

wonder if that is an omen.

magnus mills = genius

i've just finished reading my third book by magnus mills, and i intend to track down his other works. so far i've read 'the scheme for full employment', 'explorers of the new century', and 'three to see the king.'

these are short works, perhaps novellas would be more accurate, but they're all exceedingly good. he has a black sense of humor - i am tempted to say it reminds me of jonathan swift, but it's been ages since i read swift. makes me want to pick up some swift, too, to see how much influence was there.

i want you to want me

yesterday i got called for interviews with two (count 'em, two) library systems.

one of *those* parents

my friend marty, a schoolteacher in dallas, recently accused me of being one of *those* parents. and well, time to face facts: i probably am.

i applied to switch boo to a new magnet school today. this school is changing from a middle school to K-8, with focuses (focii?) on arts and science & technology. i spoke with the vice principal today, toured the space, asked about the curriculum and library, and asked about the plans for the program in following years. there are some very interesting interdisciplinary and interage programs, plus a partnership with Portland State University for science instruction.

frankly, there are two compelling reasons to make the switch: the school that he's enrolled in as his 'neighborhood school' is pretty far from home - more than twice the distance from this school. it's also (albeit improving) "strong" school with an emphasis on reading. that sounds nice, but the snarky side of me suspects that schools focus on reading when the parents of their students aren't doing it at home. not a problem for a librarian's kid, eh?

the veep also told me about afterschool enrichment programs, such as music, dance, art and additonal science sessions. this is a plus, as i had already been researching music and language classes for him. (he wants to learn spanish. no, hindi. no, spanish, no, hindi.)

soooo.... yep, marty, i'm one of *them*. i might even put the kid in a one-week afternoon soccer camp next week, making me a *soccer mom*. it's a program with british coaches, though, so do i technically qualify as a footie mum?

and in the not-quite-breaking-news department: second ultrasound today confirms it's a girl. wheeee! however, boodad and i finally figured out what the boy name would have been. and no, there will be no #3 to try it out.

the new sesame street muppet blows.

Abby Cadabby is the new Sesame Street muppet.

She's been on for eight minutes and I want to strangle her, and whoever designed her. For starters: she has flat eyes, rendering her expressionless. She's also got a more annoying voice than Elmo, if that's possible.

I really love Sesame Street and the Muppet Workshop, but this is ridiculous. It's Disney-esque. I'm several yards away from my bedroom, where the TV is on, and all I can hear is *twinkle!* *twinkle!* sound effects.

Supposedly this is Sesame's way of providing a strong female role?

At least Nathan's Sesame-watching days will be coming to an end in a few weeks.

Also, I feel sorry for any kid named Abby, because you know this is what they'll be called from here on out.

library thang!

it's not a job, it's a lifestyle.

the doohickey on the left is from librarything.com. pretty nifty. found it by glancing at fellow mad-skillz librarian jblend's blog.

apparently, it's furniture day

today the order from dania arrived.

this was kind of a sticky wicket, as i had ordered it when boo and i had gone in to check out the store last week. there were dining chairs that i really liked and found comfortable, and a nifty boo-bed that had drawers and cabinet space underneath.

slight mistake - forgot to tell boodad about it. so he pipes up with, "sure, let's go back to the store this weekend and check out the dining chairs and bed before we order it." which would have been okay, since the furniture wasn't arriving until the following friday, and if he hated it i could cancel the order before anything came to the house. but of course, us being us, we didn't get around to it last weekend. hmmm.

went to knitting thursday night, intending to 'fess up afterwards. meanwhile, boodad had been looking through the bank records and noticed a rather large purchase at dania. oops. 'fessing time was upon me.

this morning the chairs and bed arrive. i didn't expect the chairs to require assembly. but i'm more nonplussed that the bed's assembly, which i was anticipating, wasn't part of the delivery. but heck, i have mastered many an allen wrench courtesy the big swedish wonderland; i can surely handle this.

i put together two chairs, leaving two in the box in case boodad wanted to return them. then set upstairs to tackle the bed.

unpacked everything. put all the screws, nuts, doohickeys and whatamathings in order. laid out the pieces according to diagram. started malleting, screwdriving and wrenching my darndest, paying extra attention to the directions as i'm slightly baby-brained at the moment and prone to missing details. read twice, screw once, to slightly amend this old house's proverb.

i get the core of the underbed together, and then i have to flip it to put the big side panels on. and that's when i hear a *crack*. there is a piece running the length of the bed, but only about 2" high, and made out of MDF that is supposed to be a crucial supporting piece. yes, soooo crucial that the danish wonderlords only pegged it to the core section - it doesn't get screwed into place until the side panels go on. flipping the core - and yes, i did try to see if things could be aligned without flipping first, and no they couldn't - caused the MDF to split at all five pegged points.

i tried glueing the points back, and then realized there was still no way to get all the connecting points on the side panels and the core to fit together correctly. at this point i think my kid may have picked up some bad vocab from me.

so tomorrow, boodad will indeed get to see the inside of dania, as we intend to return this hulk of MDF. as he put it, a couple of jumps from nathan and it would all be over.

later in the evening, there is a knock on my front door. it is the woman who lives two doors down. that house, and the one next to us, have quieted recently after a period of... ummm... seemingly large and loud amounts of commercial traffic, presumably pharmaceutical. she tells me that she is moving out of portland this weekend, selling her house, and needs to get rid of furniture, would we be interested? there are lots of 'i made mistakes but now these people are gone and i want to move on with my life' kinds of comments. ai yi. anyway, i go over, mainly to be polite, and also figuring that i would be saying no. however, she has a dresser set that isn't bad at all - and happens to be the kind of thing i've been looking for to replace our not-enough-storage pieces of bedroom furniture. (unfortunately for boo, this is my bedroom, not his.) so i ask boodad, he's okay with it, we settle on a price and the pieces are brought over.

to be honest, the only thing i don't like are the pulls, and one is missing. so i'm looking online at some nice 4" cup-shaped pulls, and i'm realizing that buying them - at least from restoration hardware (yeah, yeah, i will wind up at lowe's like a normal person, don't worry) - may cost as much as the whole set costs us. oops, again, but i'm in no rush to do this right now anyway.

boo has crashed on one of the futons downstairs. poor little guy. it was hard for him to see mommy and daddy getting new stuff in their bedroom while the bed he really wanted is in a not-quite-together heap in the middle of his room.

puzzled

since i have a little more spare time in my days, i've taken to doing the puzzles in the comics pages of the oregonian.

sudoku? bring it on.
word search? heck yeah.
crossword puzzle? if i feel like it, sure.
jumble? .....

the jumble is that puzzle with four scrambled words, a cartoon, and a punch line for the cartoon that is formed from selected letters of the descrambled words. and i can't do it for the life of me.

why?

the scrambled words are always presented as phonetic possibilities. and since i love picking up new languages, my brain just kinda accepts the scrambles as new words. burmia? verip? wish i knew what they meant in their native languages.

chutzpah

we're trying to see if we can switch boo's elementary school, as there are several others nearby with better scores. i've been advised that although we're past the school choice deadline, we may still be able to do this. so i called the schools we're interested in, to find out if there was available kindergarten space. the portland school district has an interesting feature on their schools' phones. i called 4 elementary schools today, and none of the lines were answered. however, after a few rings i got a message saying that i could either stay on the line, or leave a message - for 95 cents.

it irked me that i should have to pay to have a public institution call me back. however, having worked in a public place myself, i'm aware of the fact that some people call constantly about inappropriate things. perhaps the fee is to keep the schools' voicemail boxes from overflowing. so, although it just seemed wrong, i left messages at all four schools. four bucks is a tiny investment in my kid's education, i told myself.

no calls back.

sorry, but if you're going to have the 'nads to ask callers to pay for the opportunity to leave a message, and the only thing you allow on these messages are names and phone numbers, then call back, or refund the fee.

wait til he figures out this is a desirable effect

"mom, i have to get new underwear. i'm getting bigger all the time and this underwear is too tight. see? it makes my private parts look like a mountain."